Thursday, August 23, 2012
I'm joining Bonnie for another Faith Barista Jam today. She has invited us to write a letter to God. The only requirement is to ...be real.
At first, I was hesitant. After all, that's kind of personal. But after joining in last week with a letter to my younger self, I found it very revealing and I hope it blessed a few people. So I will be transparent once again. So here goes ...
First of all, I want to thank you for loving me and forgiving me. Your grace is amazing to me! I'm so glad I am your child and that you will never leave me, no matter what!
I also want to thank you for how you created me. Although I didn't understand as a young child, the congenital heart defect turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I came to understand what it felt like to be different and to feel like I didn't quite belong. Some of the children didn't understand when I couldn't run and play with them and this saddened me. But you tenderized my heart. I knew how this felt. I believe that you gave me a vacuum in my heart that could only be filled by you.
I know I was a prodigal for many years. I was afraid I was missing out on fun times. But through it all, I learned many life long lessons. I also realized that all the fun the world offers cannot compare with the peace that you provide. When I became serious in my relationship with you, it impacted the way I viewed life and people.
I was so thrilled when life seemed to be going so well. I quit my nursing job and had time to volunteer, develop hobbies and spend more time with family. I remember that every time I walked into my dream home I almost had to pinch myself. I was so thankful and always told you so. I never expected to lose it all! I didn't think I'd done anything wrong and I believed I was generous with others.
However, as time goes by I realize that you taught me valuable lessons. I learned to hold very loosely to the things of this world. I learned to abide in you and to lean on you. You became my strength.
Just today I was realizing how much I've grown over the past few years. You taught me many valuable lessons. And even though I live in a very small condo and I'm working full time in a career that is not nursing, I am content. I am surrounded by little children all day long. They are quick to give hugs and tell me they love me. I remember the years of trying to get pregnant with no results. Now I spend my day with little ones. You are so faithful to remember my heart's desire!
Thank you Lord for each day you give to me. Help me to use each day in a way that is pleasing to you. May I share your light and love to others. Guide me and lead me every step of the day. Thank you for speaking to my heart through your Word.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Blessings and love,