It's Then Sings My Soul Saturday when I link up with Amy of Signs, Miracles and Wonders. I hope you take the time to blog hop along with us and sing and worship. It always lifts my spirit when I participate.

I had an unusually difficult week. I'm so grateful for my bloggy friends. You really are a wonderful community of friends who offer encourgement and prayer.

Jill of Forever N Ever N Always shared this song with me the other day and it was such a blessing. Thank you Jill for your prayers and words of encouragement!

Are you in a desert or a wilderness time? Are you waiting for the rain? Maybe the promises you hope to see haven't been fulfilled.

Don't give up HOPE! There will be times of draught and famine but by faith ...we can wait for the rain.

Last Wednesday was my first week participating in Walk with Him Wednesday, and I loved it. Ann Voskamp is our host and I have to say I've found myself drawn to her blog Holy Experience. It's like stepping back in time to peace and quiet and ...my soul seems to be craving that right now.

(Photo credit: House Beautiful)

I'm the kind of person who loved the Walton's. Growing up, nobody else in my family liked that show. After all, I was born and raised in New York. It was Long Island but we often spent time in the city since it was an hour train ride on the Long Island Railroad.

But as an adult, I always take the time to watch the Walton's Thanksgiving movie. Sometimes I think I should have been born in earlier times but then I remember they didn't shower often and forget about blow dryers and microwaves. So, I guess God knew what He was doing by allowing me to be born for ...such a time as this.

Ann suggests that we post ways we grow closer in our walk with the Lord each Wednesday. Last week, we wrote about ways that we slow down and are still. It was a good exercise for me and I enjoyed writing that post.

This week has been very trying for me. I've struggled more with being still and lapsed back into worry. Oh, I hate when I do that because I know better.

I pray and read my Bible each morning. I'm trying to develop a lifestyle of prayer. I'm even doing a study on Romans 12 with my Sunday morning small group at church.

Romans 12: 1-2 has become an almost daily prayer for me.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."

So, what's my problem? I still keep struggling with control. I think I'm fully surrendered to the Lord. I give Him a blank check to do what He pleases with my life.

But then ...life gets in the way.

I get scared.

I can't control the reactions of the people closest to me.

I don't know what the future holds.

As I'm writing this, I have to smile because I know I do not have to fear or worry about being in control.

I serve a loving God who is the Creator and sustainer of all. And He is in control. Not me. Not the circumstances and challenges. And He knows me intimately and He still loves me. How much better can that be?

When I remember this, I am filled with hope, joy and peace. When I surrender it ALL and lay down ALL of the uncertainties ...I can rest in Him.

And then He can use me as His vessel to work in me and through me to touch others in love.

I have to say that this quote hit me right between the eyes! You see, I really want to be patient and kind and loving in all circumstances. But lately, I've been a bit surprised with ...what's been coming out of me.

When life is going along smoothly, it's easy to be sweet and nice and kind. But when you're going through those difficult seasons that never seem to end, I have to admit ...the tension can overwhelm me.

One of the things that helped me is remembering a teaching of Scott Samter of Opening His Word Together. It was on Romans 12 and Scott was describing how Christians have a choice.

Our spirit is alive in Christ but we still struggle with our flesh this side of eternity. He used an analogy of an AM and FM radio station. The AM station is Adam or presaved. The FM station is God's station.

Romans 12:1 talks about presenting our bodies as a living sacrifice. Scott said that the greatest warfare we deal with is between our ears. Every action starts with a thought.

Who will rule? Our spirit (FM station) or our flesh (AM station)?

This stuck with me and now when I find that when I'm reacting and speaking impatient and unloving words, I pause and recognize what's happening. I'm reacting out of my flesh (AM station). I go to 1 John 1:9 which is my spiritual bar of soap:

When I'm "bumped", my desire is to not react from my flesh (AM station) but to live with my dial set on my FM station.

Today has started out in a difficult way. I woke up early to drive to Scottsdale for my 6am appointment for a drug research study I'm participating in three mornings a week for seven weeks. I returned home to a list of work related activities that need to be done ASAP.

But I have to say ...I feel so weary!

The tune that kept coming to my mind as I tried to pray was "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus". I've sung this song since my childhood but it was a timely reminder for me right now.

Here's Alan Jackson singing it. For me, certain music can soothe my soul and calm me. The words have such truth to them.