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Bonnie has written a book that will be published in January and I look forward to reading it. She's been such an inspiration to me and many others.
Writing has become such an important part of my life. For years, I've kept a journal. As I read my Bible, I take notes about how I can apply what I'm reading and what God is teaching me. If I read a book, I often write down quotes that speak to my heart. I record many of my prayer requests. There are many times when I've poured out my heart in sorrow or pain. I tend to write what I'm feeling instead of always talking about it to others. The Lord knows my heart and I find it helpful to write it out.
At times I go back and read some of my older journals. What I discover is that even when I felt as though my prayers weren't being answered, I can see how God has been actively working in my life. Often He answers in ways I don't expect. And in the process it is me who is being changed and not always the other person I'm praying about.
Being myself is something that has been challenging for me. Growing up with a heart defect, I was very aware of how I impacted others. I never wanted to cause my family any pain. I knew my health created anxiety for them. Maybe that's why it was easy for me to learn to be a people pleaser.
I've always been a hard worker, trying to do my best no matter what the job. Whether it was caring for patients as a nurse, visiting the home bound, cleaning my house, or working with preschool children ...I try to work as unto the Lord.
But who am I? What do I really love?
Discovering my heart's desire has been a work in progress.
The opening lines in Mark Batterson's book Soulprint: Discovering Your Divine Destiny really spoke to my heart.
There has never been and never will be anyone else like you. But that isn't a testament to you. It's a testament to the God who created you. You are unlike anyone who has ever lived. But that uniqueness isn't a virtue. It's a responsibility. Uniqueness is God's gift to you, and uniqueness is your gift to God. You owe it to yourself to be yourself. But more important, you owe it to the One who designed you and destined you.
As I read Psalm 37:4 I've realized that as I delight myself in the Lord, He does give me the desires of my heart. And often those desires were so well below the surface that I wasn't fully aware of them.
Pain and loss often get written in my journals but I don't always understand the why's. But lately, I find that in the midst of the pain of the last few years God has been comforting me and reassuring me that He is indeed in control.
Never would I have imagined returning to the workforce after retirement of almost ten years. Working with preschool children has been such a gift from the Lord. I was unable to have children of my own and yet longed for them. I wrote about my pain in my journals but told myself that life goes on so ...quit whining.
But God answered my prayers in such an unexpected way and in an unanticipated time in my life. When I was in need of a job, my pastor's wife introduced me to her principal. I've been working at the school now for three years. I am surrounded by little children all day long. Only God would use a very difficult time in my life to bring me such joy and love.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) says:
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Those words are such a comfort to me. I'm learning to surrender to His plans for my life. And those plans are good.
I'm linking up with Bonnie for this Faith Barista Jam.
I'm linking up with Bonnie for this Faith Barista Jam.
Blessings and love,
