All is grace! That's the topic for this week's Faith Barista Jam. I'm late in writing my post and linking up. But all is grace, right?
I have the privilege to see little hands like these every day. Working in a private school with little ones has opened my eyes to see so much that I'd been missing.
Bonnie of The Faith Barista wrote about Brennan Manning's latest book All Is Grace. A few of the quotes from the book touched my heart in a way that's hard to describe. Brennan Manning became a good boy and learned to place a nuzzle on his emotions.
But it cost him his voice.
I could identify but for different reasons.
As a child, I lived with a heart defect that limited my activities. Instead of running and playing with other children, I was sidelined. I remember overhearing my parents talking when I was about five years old. My mom was crying and I knew it was about me.
As I look back, I understand. They had been told that I probably wouldn't live much longer unless I had surgery to correct my heart defect. And at the time, the surgical techniques weren't advanced. The doctor recommended that they wait until the risks were less. In my five year old mind, I didn't want to cause my parents pain. And I didn't want to make my mom cry.
So, I became a good girl.
At least as much as I knew how to be a good girl.
I tried not to cry. I endured many injections and blood draws and was so proud that I didn't cry.
I tried to listen and obey. But I often messed up and felt bad.
I tried to keep my room clean but ... I often failed.
Fast forward several years and I had the heart surgery. I survived and thrived.
I wanted to make up for lost time so I worked hard at being fast. I wanted to keep up with the other children.
|My heart surgeon Dr. Malm 1970|
I spoke at a gathering of patients at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City when I was 17 years old. I told them that I was going to go to nursing school to become a cardiac nurse so I could give back. I wanted to encourage others going through heart surgery or who were limited by their heart condition.
I worked as a cardiovascular nurse specialist for 25 years. And then I retired.
Fast forward ten years and I found myself returning to work full time. It was out of necessity not desire.
But in the process of working in a completely different field with little children, guess what?
I'm finding my voice.
As I see little children learn and grow and make mistakes, I realize it is all grace.
I love to get messy as I help the children paint.
Sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes they say things spontaneously. Sometimes they forget to brush their teeth or wash their hands. But it's all grace ...
I'm discovering that I love photography and writing and playing and having fun.
I've lived most of my life in a left brain world but I realize I'm a right brain person.
No wonder I often struggled. I always tried to keep up and do things right.
Praise God for His grace.
What about you? Have you found your voice? What has it taken for you to find it?
I'm linking up with Bonnie for this Faith Barista Jam.
Blessings and love,