Last Wednesday was my first week participating in Walk with Him Wednesday, and I loved it. Ann Voskamp is our host and I have to say I've found myself drawn to her blog Holy Experience. It's like stepping back in time to peace and quiet and ...my soul seems to be craving that right now.
I'm the kind of person who loved the Walton's. Growing up, nobody else in my family liked that show. After all, I was born and raised in New York. It was Long Island but we often spent time in the city since it was an hour train ride on the Long Island Railroad.
But as an adult, I always take the time to watch the Walton's Thanksgiving movie. Sometimes I think I should have been born in earlier times but then I remember they didn't shower often and forget about blow dryers and microwaves. So, I guess God knew what He was doing by allowing me to be born for ...such a time as this.
Ann suggests that we post ways we grow closer in our walk with the Lord each Wednesday. Last week, we wrote about ways that we slow down and are still. It was a good exercise for me and I enjoyed writing that post.
This week has been very trying for me. I've struggled more with being still and lapsed back into worry. Oh, I hate when I do that because I know better.
I pray and read my Bible each morning. I'm trying to develop a lifestyle of prayer. I'm even doing a study on Romans 12 with my Sunday morning small group at church.
Romans 12: 1-2 has become an almost daily prayer for me.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will."
So, what's my problem? I still keep struggling with control. I think I'm fully surrendered to the Lord. I give Him a blank check to do what He pleases with my life.
But then ...life gets in the way.
I can't control the reactions of the people closest to me.
I don't know what the future holds.
As I'm writing this, I have to smile because I know I do not have to fear or worry about being in control.
I serve a loving God who is the Creator and sustainer of all. And He is in control. Not me. Not the circumstances and challenges. And He knows me intimately and He still loves me. How much better can that be?
And then He can use me as His vessel to work in me and through me to touch others in love.